The Effects of Microwave Manners
Do you own a business? Online or off?
If so, you either have or will run into this type of character. The rude, gimme-gimme, I-want-it now-or-I'll-call-you-names type of spoiled brat that seems to be emerging as more commonplace.
These are what I call "Microwave Manners." And what can we expect when we let Mr. Terrible Two's get away with murder by throwing an undisciplined tantrum? He grows up into Mr.Terrible Twenty-Two.
Personally, I was raised by some decent folks who taught me some vaulable moral mottos. One of those mottos that holds true no matter what your business or personal goals are, goes like this:
You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Simple enough saying, but you'd be amazed at how many people are out there trying to force-feed vinegar to flies. Case in point:
I was visiting a forum that I frequent recently, and posted to have a site reviewed. I have my preferences set to be notified when anyone responds to my post. I had no sooner logged off than I received an email saying that someone had left me a message. I had a bite, but it seemed a bit soon.
I logged back in to retrieve my message and lo and behold here was someone electronically tapping me on my shoulder. Not for any feed-back that I had asked for, but because he was having an issue with the forum and I happened to be logged in. Well. It takes all kinds, right?
Normally, this wouldn't bother me much. I'm all about helping others if I'm in a position to do so, but before replying with any helpful advice I thought I would check out his posts first to get a better idea of exactly what his issues were.
(You can never be too careful. He could be a serial killer, or something. When was the last time you saw Tony the Tiger, Snap, Crackle, or even Pop? My point exactly.)
What I found was that his first post was made just 12 minutes before. His second post, 10 minutes after the first. And his third post in the form of his message to me.
His first post was a frustrated demand for assistance. No please or thank you. Just a demand.
I don't know about you, but I don't respond well to demands. *My* kids don't make demands from me (not overtly anyway, if they know what's good for them... and they do;-) and I'm certainly not going to take it from somebody else's kid.
In his second post, he underscored his immaturity by proceeding to curse the forum and it's members for not dropping everything, and coming to his aid. This after waiting 10 whole minutes.
Poor fella! He's obviously never had any dealings with the DMV.
This is a good example of microwave manners at work.
Well, instead of simply unloading on him, I felt it the better part of valor to allow him the *opportunity* of learning a little patience, and let him stew in his juices.
Cruel and unusual? Maybe. I did it anyway.
I had a few other pressing needs to attend to so I wasn't able to get back to the forum for a number of hours. (Crueler still? Uh huh;-) When I did return, I was unable to find any trace of Mr.10-minutes-and-I'm-hot-under-the-collar, jr..
The dutiful moderators had done their job. They had extinguished his flame and sent him kicking, screaming, and most likely stomping his feet like the spoiled brat that he is, back to whatever kingdom he had come from.
My point: please and thank you, a little reverence and civility go a long way to helping you access the information you're trying to obtain. This is especially true when you're the beginner and you're on the turf of the expert, no matter what the subject.
I could've taken the time earlier in the day to try and help this upstart out, and maybe even calmed him down in the process. When there are so many decent people out there to help, who honestly appreciate the assistance, why would anyone want to bother with a someone whose attitude tells you right out of the gate that they're going to be a knothead?
There's another little saying that was prevelent when I was younger, that would have been used in the situation where a twerp (a beginner, a know-nothing) presumed that somebody that actually *did* know a thing or two, owed them something, and began cursing them when they didn't get attention right now.
Somewhere, usually from a dimly lit corner in the back of a smokey room, someone would calmly say:
Ya'know. He's killed for less than that.
My advice?
If you don't know what manners are, learn them. If you do know, use them.
You really will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
My next article: Why do we want to catch flies, again? (Doh!)
Dave Franzwa
